Friday, March 15, 2013

Better in a Burka

Another Facebook picture ,
another ghastly pose,
I am not anonymous-
rather … tragically exposed.

Years attacked my body like
marauding,  angry,  hoards.
The pounds piled on so stealthily
that I want to scream out loud.
REALLY?    This FIT last week! JEEZUS.

I considered donning a paper bag,
I thought about logistics.
But the inside of a paper bag
has pretty bad acoustics. 

Then there’s all that stuff below the chin,
that everyone can see,
The years of hot  are  way long-gone,
sooooooooo …
this was my epi-pha-ny.

I’d be better in a burka!
A burka would be best.
Not only would it hide my face,
but also all the rest!

Better in a burka
of purple, plaid …  jacquard.
I might like to embellish it
with utter disregard. 

Tulle around the bottom,
a bird’s nest on the top.
I could  punk a few with safety pins
and sell them in a shop.

Burkaloungers?
Burkalesque?
Planet Burka?  Whaaaat?
I would sell them on the beach
from a little burki hut!

Abaya … Abaaaya!          (sung to the tune of Day-o)
Old age come and
me wanna lie low…

Burkas would be good
on more than just my frame.
Let’s examine possibilities
and even name some names.
Plummers would be swell  in them,
as would Walmart shoppers.
I’d be thrilled to see The Donald
in at least  a burka topper.

Sports Illustrated could do a shoot
atop a Swedish barge.
with super models rocking burks
in bathrooms where they purge.

I think Bieber needs a burka,
And Pat Robertson’d be grand.
His would be so holy
but never second- hand.

Mel Gibson … Charlie Sheen,  
Clarence Thomas,

On them they woule be keen!
One could hidethree misogynists
without letting out a seam!

I think Plastic Surgeons' works

would benefit from the cover
of  gracefully  draped burkas
so the rest of us don’t suffer.

Burt Reynolds, Kenny Rogers,
Prissy Presley, what a mess.
There’s almost more bad work out there

than burkas can address. 

And so-

as I wrap this little poem up, [no pun intended]
I’ll leave you all with this-
If anonymous is what you crave
A burka is pure bliss.
-D.Klein 3/3/13

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