The Fairy Physician and Plant Specialist Extraordinaire, Dr. Siobhan Nehin, has identified a new malady. Post Traumatic HOLiDAZZLING disorder, or PTHD, is insidious in that it strikes the moment intense festivities and social gatherings begin to fizzle out and taper off. Dr. Nehin, whose expertise usually involves species with chlorophyll in their veins, has identified this disorder in warm- blooded life forms…specifically humans.
PTHD is not unlike the shock a plant endures when pruned abruptly or in the wrong season. It appears that humans can go through a kind of “shock” when cut off from an unnaturally full social calendar. Dr. Nehin’s diagnosis and subsequent identification of this new disease was prompted by her recent observation of Kiaralinda, a local artist, who we suspect rarely sleeps and may not even be completely human…but that’s another story. We know that her mate, Todd, is not human at all, but rather a highly developed Android. We still like him. We do not discriminate.
Dr. Nehin, or Siobhan as she prefers to be called, wrote to me the other day expressing concern over her belief that Kiaralinda had indeed come down with PTHD. I decided to go and observe the subject myself. She did seem frazzled while appearing to be relaxed. It was an interesting dichotomy. Yawning seemed to be at an accelerated rate. She reminded me of a person who’d just had 10,000 volts of electricity rush through her body. Though she seemed in a state of rest, (while watching Project Runway All-Stars), there appeared to be a kinetic energy that had overtaken her body, causing her hair to stand on end. I realized that she was in motion while sitting still! This then, must be how PTHD manifests itself.
Still, it appeared that even though the massive HOLiDAZZLE installation that they hosted twenty-four-seven was over, there did not appear to be much deceleration of her social calendar. This may be a symptom of PTHD, the inability to stop while sitting still. The yawning seemed to be her way to gather energy by way of oxygen intake. But if that were true, then I would have boundless energy. Alas, the yawning does not work that way for me. Yet here was the subject of our concern, typing away on her MAC, yawning furiously, and checking Facebook to see what was going on so she wouldn’t miss anything. Yee gods woman!
Should I slap her? I wondered. I decided that slapping works better for hysteria, and she was clearly not hysterical. She’s hysterical ha-ha, but not bouncing-off- walls-and-screaming hysterical.
After conferring with Dr.Nehin we decided that the effects would eventually subside with time, just as plants can come back and flourish after a storm. We’ll have to make sure she gets plenty of water and sun.
Do you suspect YOU may be suffering from PTHD? Please share your insights with me.
Problem here is, oftentimes it's almost impossible to distinguish HOLiDAZZLE from the mammalian instinct, hibernation. I, too, have experienced this syndrome, and have found that the best cure is surrender.
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