You Screen, I Screen

I took a screening seminar at Home Depot.  I had the instructor all to myself. It took me awhile to find him. I  wandered around,  my window screen in hand, looking fairly bereft.  A refugee in a aisle 10, 11, and 12. I thought I'd be able to get pre-made window screens already in the frame. Easy.  I planned to get a bunch, because the outside cat tries to get at Lester by tearing  furiously at the screen.  Lester is impervious to the outrage he instills by just being visible, so of course he doesn't move.  The longer he sits the more shredded the screen.   It was obvious I would need new ones. Many new ones, because they would not last long.  I deduced that having many in stock would do the trick. But I learned, in my private seminar, that you cannot buy the frames, inclusive of screens, ready to pop back into a window.   You have to REPLACE the screen in the existing metal frame.   It's all good.  No worries.   I was willing to learn the art of sceening in order to keep the windows looking mahvelous during continuous terrorist attacks. There is a finesse to screening.  Not just ANY schmuck can learn the art.  I bought the "special tool".  Everything is easier if one has the right tools.   I also purchased 30 feet of screen.  It's good for ten windows.  It'll be a good start.  I watched.  I listened.  I learned. I expanded my hippocampus.     Now I'm confident I can replace any damned screen that needs to be replaced. Why, even the Sistine Chapel!! I'mTHAT good. (Are there screens there?  Did they have screens then?)  OK, so there will  be people who might read this and say, "I'd have them come and get the damned strays before I'd let them destroy my windows!"     Really?   It's just windows.  Felines will do what felines do.  It's my job to accomodate them and keep mosquitoes out at the same time.   After all, it's what an old cat woman does.  An old cat woman who screens!   Next on the roster, plastering holes created when Lester tears pictures off the walls. Stay tuned.