Stuff that Makes Me Smile

As I herded a lizard through the parking garage to safety this evening I thought about some stuff that makes me smile. Strange things pop into my head at the oddest moments.

I’ve not been terribly happy since last night. I went to a wonderful house concert at a wonderful house hosted by wonderful friends who provided wonderful pizza and the music was wonderful. You see a theme here...right?

Prior to the concert I mingled in an attempt to see if I could participate in an interesting conversation. A couple of friends, who are younger than me, were talking to their friends about the ski weekend they were looking forward to in Utah or Colorado or someplace like that. Apparently there’s still good skiing in April.  They were concerned about the special bindings they bought and whether they’d be adaptable to the skis. Perhaps they could text to the resort to see if the skis could be adjusted ahead of time? At any rate, they were excited.They lamented that the GPS on their I-Phones had not been functioning as well as they  usually do.  One of the friends was asked about her recent underwater cave diving experience... spelunking, I believe it’s called. The conversation expanded to the difference between the underwater foliage of fresh water compared to salt water environments and the creatures that live in each. They discussed buoyancy. I listened as they compared trips to Hawaii. One young [fit-hate her] woman was teased about the free air miles she’d racked up because she'd flown thousands of miles the year before. She lamented that she’d had to ask the airport kiosks what country she was in…she was just so darned confused! Knowing laughs and knods ensued. I asked if she traveled for work. YES.  That was the one-word answer I received before she turned her back to me. I was obviously not going to be a participant in this particular conversation unless I lied about my life and sported  an I-phone rather than pay-as-you-go TracFone.

The concert started. The main guy, we’ll call him that for the sake of anonymity so he won’t be mortified to see his name here, was really cute and talented. The accompanying lead guitar and vocals were very also very good. The woman [girl] had one of those voices that has a little cry in it. She looked the way I’ve always wanted to look my whole life. Body like a snake. Small breasts. Beautiful complexion. Golden, messy, Shirley Temple hair…cool jewelry.

The main guy told us he’d like to leave us with a song his father used to sing to him when he was a little boy. He shared that it wasn’t until he was much older that the song really resonated with him. He finally GOT it. They sang the song to us.

As an aside-I’d been listening to the concert with my twenty-year-old mind so I was expecting some old-timey tune like Over the Rainbow, or something like that.

He played Against the Wind.

Bob Seger.   His dad sang that song to him. Wasn’t that song written last fucking year? I immediately felt like a pudgy, toothless,  myopic old woman wearing support hose and a house dress. Gramma Debbie. Not only have I not traveled, or careened down mountains, or plunged into bodies of water, but it is likely  I never will.

 As far as going home with the cutest guy in the band like I used to? Honey, that train left the station 20 years ago.

I didn’t burst into tears until I got home.

So, as I chased a lizard through the parking garage after yet another 10 hour day in a cubicle, I thought about what makes me smile.

• Seeing Spoonbills with the sunrise gleaming on their backs as they fly.
• A person who can sing with a cry in her voice.
• The very first sip of wine because it brings euphoria and promise.
• My daughter when she calls and things are going well in her life.
• My sister’s macaroni salad.
• Memories of camping trips with my parents.
• Remembering the head shop The Cupboard in Cincinnati, and that whole place in time.
• My brother’s happiness when he gave us an experience we’d probably never get to have otherwise...a cruise to Haiti.
• Cooks Forest. It’s where I want to be scattered. I think of it when the dentist works on my teeth. It helps to calm me.
• A very cool breeze at dusk.
• The funny noises my cat makes when he sleeps.
• Black shirts.
• Converse sneakers.
• Rainbows. (I know. Cheesy. But what's cooler?)
• Pad Thai extra spicy.
• A book that takes me out of this world.
• Toads (I kiss them.)
• Flowers (Aren't they awesome?)
• The actual bluebird I saw in Cedar Key.A real one!
• A well-crafted sentence.
• Jewelry made of hammered metals and rustic materials.
• Pictures of the past.
• When someone really and truly likes my stories.
• The memory of the way I looked at forty.
• Sleep.