Obama-ebonics

                   

**Rick Scott and his ilk have a new language.    This is how it works.  First, you must really hate the president. The use of this special language will make it evident.  It will gather your homies around you.  It will be like preaching to your particular little choir.  Like a mating call, if you will.

Obama-ebonics is a special idiom  which right wing idiots use to communicate…not unlike flies rubbing their little legs together.  Idiom for idiots.   In order to understand it, you must adhere to the premise that the name Obama, by its very nature, is implicitely very, very bad.   It's the reason for everything that's conceived of as bad.  Conceived is the operative word. The root word is CON- also used in contrived.

Obama-ebonics is a vehicle used to herd the lemmings down the same road so they’ll fall off a cliff, thus leaving the rich and powerful behind to run the country.  It’s brainwashing at its finest.  Obama=BAD.

Are you with me so far?      Let’s call the healthcare bill Obamacare, based on the premise explained above.  Let’s not mention that the bill was written by many people from both sides of the aisle… and lots of the GOOD parts, like a public option, were carved out in order to compromise with the far right. It’s not the original version, but it’s certainly a start.   However, those are facts, and facts don’t factor into Obama-ebonics.

A typical Rick Scott day might go like this;

After coffee and a donut he starts off with a speech to the legislature, advising them that "Obamarail" would be bad for the state of Florida even though there is overwhelming evidence that the opposite is true. He leaves "work" early so he can take the family to The Magic Kingdom.[Land of the Fascist Rat.]    They stop at a service station to buy Obamagas (because it’s becoming so expensive due to the Obamaeconomy)   They’re tooling toward Orlando when BAM! they get an Obamaflat.    Ricky actually  remembers how to change a tire from back when his parent's driver taught him, but he gets a greasy Obamastain on his khakis.   The maid’s never going to be able to get THAT out.   Once in the park, they have to stand in a very long Obamaline.  It’s hot.  The kids are crying.  But one of the officials notices him and quickly scuttles them to the front.    Oh shoot!  His wife gets an Obamachip in her  new mani while hefting the youngest up to her hip.   There’s a foul Obamaodor in the air.  Obviously someone is Obamaflatulent.  

All in all, they have a pretty good time until the skies open up and torrential sheets of Obamarain soak them to the skin.  The youngest catches an Obamavirus and has to miss school on the following Tuesday.  

See how easy it is to grasp the language once you understand the premise?    Obamacare, Obamarail, Obamawar, Obamaramalamadingdong.      Oh, and you should also pepper some key phrases in here and there.  You must say in at least one interview that “Washington is spending like a bunch of drunken sailors.”  Say it with me, “Washington is spending like a bunch of drunken sailors.”   Very good.  You are now ready to talk some bullshit.


**Rick Scott is the Governor of Florida.  Mark Rubio is the Senator.  They are both supportive of the Tea Party idiology.  They were elected because Florida is a very strange state.